halfcactus

And you find some way to survive / And you find out you don't have to be happy at all / To be happy you're alive

Just caught a local staging of Next to Normal, a musical about how grief, mental illness, and medication affect relationships, and how absence is a house that exists spatially and continues to grow with the people who are still present.

I'm not exactly sure I liked it, especially because I was struggling to make out the lyrics and orient myself in the setting, but I found this one interesting in how the second act was much brighter and enjoyable than the first, which was extremely intense and overwhelming. There were things it did really well--its characterization of absence, the complicated emotions that arise when people are no longer the same (whether it's because of trauma, drugs, or illness), and the idea of your past and present selves being ghosts of each other...

I did want to see some sort of continuation for Natalie's school/piano recital storyline as its own thing outside Gabe or her parents. I know the mother and daughter storylines are supposed to be parallels that form a picture of generational trauma when you put them together, but I couldn't help but be a bit miffed at the romantic relationship superseding Natalie's own inner life that I thought they were building up in act one.

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Life, recently

Recent frivolous online purchases that have actually improved my life: a pack of cable ties (the ones with velcro) and a 3-meter charging cable.

I have a working A/C now, which is timely because it's been getting hot. It's an inverter type that's supposed to be meant for longer use so I'm still getting used to turning it on earlier in the evening and not right before bed. I'm enjoying being able to put on clothes and body lotion at night and not feeling weighed down by sweat. XD

I inadvertently found out that I can buy some translated manhwa physicals in the usual manga/light novel shops, which is making me angry (I'm trying to save money so I'd rather not know what I can buy) but ALSO awakening a soft longing to own collected comics again.

You would think this would motivate me to get back into decluttering, but it is, unfortunately, just reinforcing my anxiety.

I'm still spending my free time either mindlessly reading webtoons on my phone or writing about them on my physical journal, but I think I can try reading books again and maybe even continuing my unfinished games. I found my Kindle strap and all!

I've been going out and interacting with people more than I usually do (which is never), and the mere act of leaving the house has been an ordeal every time because I'm still in hibernation mode. /o\ I did get to see a bunch of well-fed stray cats, which was nice!

Also trying to get back into exercising more regularly; I've been complacent since my backaches haven't been as pervasive, but I can already feel myself becoming less mobile haha.

Saw a small three-weekend local run of The Last Five Years, which was apparently successful enough to be extended for two more weekends! I've always been curious about the staging, so this was really neat!

The cast is the same leads (well, two of the three leads) of Mula Sa Buwan's (Cyrano de Bergerac musical retelling) 2022 run, the run that I also managed to watch once live and another time when they streamed a recording. Here's an excerpt of one of the songs with English subs:


I watched the movie-musical version of The Last Five Years with Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan a while back, which I thought was more sympathetic to Cathy (I found of Jamie insufferable haha though The Schmuel Song lyrically had me by the throat in its tenderness), and it wasn't until I saw the show that I saw its true intentions—the individual perspectives, and the way they'd become out of sync and were talking over each other across different planes of time. The scales were more evenly tipped, the marriage and its failures more well characterized, and the beautifully structured sadness finally revealed fully to me.

Btw this was what our stage/theater looked like:


I'm not sure if the acoustics weren't calibrated very well, or if it's just my position in the theater, of it's an issue of projection and enunciation, but I really struggled with making out the words—Jamie in particular. :( At some point I was just filling in the songs with my memory of the lyrics. It doesn't help that the musical's references are very, very American. ^^; I'm not confident I would have been able to follow this musical at all if I didn't already have prior knowledge.

In terms of casting, I didn't enjoy Jamie's actor as much as I did in the last show I saw him in. Besides the projection/enunciation issue—especially for fast songs with louder instrumentation—his moments of liveliness and vivaciousness felt a bit stiff to me, especially compared to Cathy's actor who embodied the role more naturally (and thus I have no notes about her haha). But he did nail Nobody Needs to Know and I liked his choice to only do voices for the clock in The Schmuel Song.

I was also amused to see the maple leaves from Mula sa Buwan be reused here. XD The very tragic autumn leaves that distracted me with how impossibly unseasonable they were finally fit the scenery in a musical set in the US. :P

I'm still curious about other stage productions, if they're just as minimalist with the expectation of the audience being able to imagine the various background settings, or if they have more sets and props. Overall, very enjoyable! It was very, very hot outside, but the aircon inside the theater was very, very cold lol.

PS. Here's a sample of Still Hurting.