February in books

Goddess of Yesterday: A Tale of Troy by Caroline B. Cooney

A retelling of events leading up to the Trojan War. Because it's largely driven by fate, I didn't find the main character (Anaxandra) particularly compelling, but I thought she was a very effective POV character. The world felt tangible in her eyes, and it made sense to me how, throughout the series of childhood separations, she always tried to grasp and hold on to love, but did not fight rejection. Someone smarter than me can probably make the different types of love alignment chart...

Liked: the characterization of Helen + the Medusa bits + the Cassandra twist in the end

(Read this because superborb wrote about it here and it seemed short enough for me... It still took me a couple of weeks to finish. XD Like her, I enjoyed the first parts the most!)


My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness by Kabi Nagata (translated by Jocelyne Allen)

An autobiographical meditation on loneliness, sexuality, and mental illness + journey towards purpose.

The manga begins with the story's destination—the main character naked in a bed with a female escort—and cuts back to answer the question of what propelled her into making this bizarre life choice.



This hit me very hard, and only partly because of the relatability and specificity of what it expressed. I was fully invested in the author's journey, and felt relieved and proud during each of her breakthroughs. Because of the way she sets down every individual episode into a logical path in retrospect, there's a feeling of progress and catharsis, and it gets more emotional as you take in how it took her around ten years to get there. Seeing how much time, effort, desire, and therapy it took to move her forward made me feel so hopeful both for her and for myself, a person who has yet to find the "sweet nectar of life" (reasons to wake up and function). :P It was also very sweet to see the adults obliquely rooting for her as she scrambled to get a "real adult job" as a young college dropout!

The author's relationship with her gender and sexuality at the time of writing was a work in progress, identifying as lesbian but not fully identifying as a girl, with sexual expectations that were shaped by 1) a lack of sex education 2) erotic BL manga/doujinshi that were representative of neither reality nor her sexuality.


Content warnings: self-harm (seen in the scars), eating disorder/disordered eating, anxiety, depression and other unnamed mental illnesses

---

Started reading: 她属于我 She Belongs to Me by 妲婴 Da Ying

I hesitate to say I'm reading this because I've mostly just downloaded + converted the JJWXC chapters to a format readable on my phone ereader + Pleco (using this script to generate the epub and a random website to convert to txt...) so I have something to look at when I'm stuck in a bank queue or waiting room. (Pre-pandemic, this was the only way I read cnovels so the habit kind of stuck even though I spend significantly less time doing any physical banking now.) ^^;

I actually have no idea what this book is about, other than douqi recommending it as a short, light, and wholesome modern-day read... I didn't even bother reading the summary haha. I also didn't realize until today that the cover art is so! Pretty!!! And intriguing!

In terms of readability (as someone who has weak vocabulary and reading ability): I got intimidated with chapter 1 because it felt like there was a lot of plot/drama and some vagueness going on, but it ended at a place that I think I might be able to follow. \o/

I thought the romance was going to be between the MC (married) and her childhood love (pregnant and married—apparently unhappily—to a man) at first, which would have been potentially interesting if done well but much more likely to be... not. It seems like it's actually between the MC and her affluent businesswoman wife? It's a sort of a consensual temporary marriage arrangement for reasons detailed in the chapter 1 exposition. I'm actually kind of into this dynamic, especially with both women appearing competent in their respective career paths, so we'll see! At least it's only 57 chapters. XD

I kinda want to do a reading log, but I'm really struggling with platforms right now... I should probably just write my notes on my physical journal but that requires a different frame on mind...

EDIT: I just found out that there is a fantranslation that hasn't been updated since chapter 40... I feel less stupid/alone now for my moments of confusion hahahaha. I don't know if it's still appropriate to leave translation feedback in the comments since it's been 3 years since the blog was updated and I'm not exactly qualified to say anything........